vintage ads for the new generation
ahhhh i love these!
There needs to be one for Tumblr.
Maybe “Tumblr: Lose yourself”.
(Source: adhdad)
Stayin’ Alive | How to Avoid Being Attacked By A Serial Killer
by John E. Citrone
In the modern age, we’ve all been faced with evils unheard of in the distant past. Technology kills, tyrants and political leaders wipe out entire populations in seconds, and the term “serial killer” is now a household word. Though there’s probably no way to stop high-tech murder machines and power-hungry zealots from blowing up countries, we can give you a few practical strategies for avoiding gruesome death at the hands of a Dahmer copycat.
The first and easiest way to avoid being murdered by a serial killer should be obvious:
1. Marry a Serial Killer
Odd but true, serial killers rarely rape, torture and murder their wives. In fact, they rarely, if ever, kill their children, parents or siblings. There are a couple of reasons for this.
One: Maintaining the illusion of a normal family life is key to avoiding capture. The more normal you look, the less likely you are to attract attention. Kill your wife or kid, and your run is over.
Two: Guilt. Yes, serial killers are capable of feeling guilt, just not for their prey. They do, however, loathe themselves for the suffering they cause their family members. So find a psycho killer and marry that asshole. Who knows, you might even get a nice lampshade out of the deal.
2. Team Up With a Serial Killer
The close relative to marrying a serial killer is actually befriending a serial killer. You don’t have to kill anyone. Just express a fascination for his predilection for murdering lots of strangers. He’ll more than likely try to impress you with his kill history, and you’ll be in the clear – provided you don’t piss him off.
3. Become a Serial Killer
Well, seriously, have you ever heard of a serial killer killing another serial killer? Even if you’re the nomadic type, traveling the countryside shooting, choking and stabbing, chances are you aren’t looking for some psychotic dude with whom to do battle. If you’re the stay-at-home type — killing after midnight and heading home just before breakfast or even better, bringing victims to the house and offing them in the basement while the wife is at bridge club — the likelihood of running into a likeminded sicko is nil. Once word gets out people are disappearing, your competition is leaving town or, at the very least, will stay away from neighborhood.
4. Don’t Live in Florida
Rolling.
Bundy.
Wuornos.
Bowles.
Long.
Burousseau.
5. Don’t Be a Hooker
If you need this explained to you, you probably deserve to be chopped up and left in a ditch by the side of the road.
(Source: oldlipgallagher)
Check this out! It’s the same golden delicious apple. The apple to the left was grown in NY State, and the apple to the right was grown somewhere in the U.S. The amish farmer I got my apples from didn’t speak english :( so I didn’t get to ask him any questions. BUT, when in doubt and your produce has a sticker— this is how to read it!
- If your produce has 4 digits starting with a 3 or 4, it means the produce was conventionally grown. The produce was sprayed with weed killers and chemical pesticides, meaning it was “conventionally grown, but not organic.”
- If it has 5 digits, and begins with a 9, it means that the produce was organically grown. You can be sure that this produce was not treated with any chemicals.
- A 5 digit code that begins with an 8 indicates that the produce was genetically modified (man intervened by manipulating the genes to produce a larger or brighter colored food). This produce may have been chemically treated.
(Source: supergav)
